Kindling

A Way to Get Started When You Haven't Written in a While

Hi friends,

In my last letter, I talked about how I’ve been slowing down, not writing as much as usual—and the trend has continued. At least when it comes to fiction. For the past month, however, some good news is that I’ve been writing an essay about how uninspired I’ve been feeling! And more good news is that essay writing always makes me miss fiction, so now I can’t wait to get back to it.

At the moment, I don’t have any projects in progress that need my attention, and that means I get to start something new. Usually, that’s my happy place – a new beginning, full of possibility and wonder. Before something is underway, it promises to be the most exciting thing I’ve ever written. There’s no inner editor yet, warning me that it’s not living up to expectation.

It’s been so long, though, that I’m feeling nervous to start and worried about whether the idea has legs. Which, by the way, is an expression I love. It’s very silly to imagine an idea standing up and walking around the room. [Quick aside: I was so delighted to see a video of the tall grass in Bad Bunny’s halftime performance walking itself onto the set. A creative idea with actual legs!]

Anyway, it sounds very cliché (and even simplistic), but this morning when I was building a fire in my wood stove, it struck me how much making a fire is like my writing process. First, you have to set fire to the smallest pieces of wood – the kindling or, as my son’s wilderness-survival camp called them, “wispies.” Those little wispies have to burn until they’re hot enough to fuel bigger sticks and then larger pieces of wood. Otherwise, their small flames will get snuffed out.

As I went through each step of making the fire, I was grateful for this very simple reminder and, more importantly, now I feel ready to start my new story. All I know at the outset is that after many years, a woman who’s mistreated in her marriage is going to walk out the door, never to return. I have no idea where she’s headed or what she’ll do next. But instead of waiting for it to come to me, I’ll start in that moment, with that one little wispy idea, maybe zooming in on her feet, about to take the first steps. Then I’ll tend each sentence without judgment, to give it a chance to spark a new one, until a story emerges.

As I was reminded by the wonderful show The Lowdown (which you should watch if you haven’t yet), the noir author Jim Thompson famously said, “There is only one plot – things are not as they seem.” And that’s my favorite thing about writing: it’s a constant process of discovery. I love learning, and relearning, who my characters are, what they’re going to do and have done to them, how their worldview is going to be changed by their experience.

On “The Lowdown,” Ethan Hawke as Lee Raybon, Peter Dinklage as Wendell. (Photo credit Shane Brown/FX)

I know not everyone is comfortable pants-ing it. And lord knows it would have been much smarter of me to make an outline for the essay I just wrote. But this morning I was grateful to be reminded of what I love about this goofy process and wanted to share it with you in case it resonates.

For now, I’m off to the page to follow my heroine out her front door!

I look forward to next time.

Yours,

Jen